42 Pounds
Three bowling balls. Half an octopus. Four gallons of paint. Six human babies. Two car tires. A human leg.
What do all of these have in common? They’re equivalent to the number of pounds I’ve gained in 13 years. 42 pounds.
Ouch.
Last night I hit an all time new “high” - 178 pounds. In my 20’s, I couldn’t have even fathomed that number landing on my scale.
I was always skinny in school. I was in dance for about 10 years, so I could eat whatever I wanted and I just danced it off afterwards.
I went to college around 125 pounds and was married at 136 pounds, four and a half years later.
Once I hit my thirties, everything changed.
I know that’s something old people like to tell you, but goodness, I was not prepared and they were right.
With the knee issues I’d had since I was a child, I’d become pretty sedentary and found it hard to work in a consistent exercise program into my busy life. That was until I found Pure Barre. I was in love from day one! It was amazing.
In September 2017, I was the lowest weight I’d been in years - around 149 pounds. A few months later, my knees became unstable and began locking and dislocating when they were straightened. I’m still unable to straighten them to this day, but I’m believing for a miracle in my body and to be able to straighten them again someday soon! As much as I loved Pure Barre, I do attribute my knee issues to the constant strain, stretching, rocking, and just pressure put on your knees in this program.
A few months after that in May 2018, I hit a new all time high of 172 pounds and took the jump into Beachbody. I loved the at-home workouts and the easy-to-implement food program. I was hooked. With the help of Beachbody, I lost around 14 pounds and felt stronger than ever. That was until my fingers and elbows became unstable and started dislocating as well. I believe this was attributed to adding in heavy weight lifting - too much and too soon.
Bottom line…working out is dangerous and no one should ever do it! (Kidding.)
eeeeek!
I’ve heard that every time you gain and lose and gain and lose weight, you’ll end up weighing more than you did before you started the diet or program. I feel like my chart is a classic case of “yo-yo dieting.” Each time I lost weight, I would gain even more than I was before the diet.
Except, I don’t diet.
I’ve honestly never been on a diet.
The only time I’ve ever really restricted my food options were when I was doing the Beachbody food portion control cups.
And this is kind of my point…
I’ve never actually learned how to restrict myself.
I never had to learn the discipline of self control when it came to food.
I could eat whatever I wanted and the weight would just kind of work itself off. I could just eat a little lighter for a day or two and then I’d be back to my normal weight.
But then 35 hit!
Gone are the days that I can eat 3,000-4,000 calories a day and just walk an extra lap around the campus to work it off.
Working out is hard. Restriction is hard. Discipline is hard.
But it’s so necessary and it’s so worth it.
I’m not saying this as someone who’s figured it out.
CLEARLY.
I’m at my new highest weight ever and that’s a scary thing to admit.
As hard as it is, I want to renew my mind with the truth of God’s Word to learn how I can submit to His loving discipline.
And the Bible actually has a lot to say on this subject!
In wisdom:
Those who cling to these words will receive discipline to demonstrate wisdom in every relationship and to choose what is right and just and fair.
For the Father’s discipline comes only from his passionate love and pleasure for you. Even when it seems like his correction is harsh, it’s still better than any father on earth gives to his child.
Those who choose wickedness die for lack of self-control, for their foolish ways lead them astray, carrying them away as hostages— kidnapped captives robbed of destiny.
An impulsive person has a short fuse and can ruin everything, but the wise show self-control.
If you live without restraint and are unable to control your temper, you’re as helpless as a city with broken-down defenses, open to attack.
In Marriage:
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
In Self-Care:
Isn’t it obvious that all runners on the racetrack keep on running to win, but only one receives the victor’s prize? Yet each one of you must run the race to be victorious. A true athlete will be disciplined in every respect, practicing constant self-control in order to win a laurel wreath that quickly withers. But we run our race to win a victor’s crown that will last forever. For that reason, I don’t run just for exercise or box like one throwing aimless punches, but I train like a champion athlete. I subdue my body and get it under my control, so that after preaching the good news to others I myself won’t be disqualified.
In Yielding to the Spirit:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
Fully embrace God’s correction as part of your training, for he is doing what any loving father does for his children. For who has ever heard of a child who never had to be corrected? We all should welcome God’s discipline as the validation of authentic sonship. For if we have never once endured his correction it only proves we are strangers and not sons. And isn’t it true that we respect our earthly fathers even though they corrected and disciplined us? Then we should demonstrate an even greater respect for God, our spiritual Father, as we submit to his life-giving discipline.
Our parents corrected us for the short time of our childhood as it seemed good to them. But God corrects us throughout our lives for our own good, giving us an invitation to share his holiness. Now all discipline seems to be more pain than pleasure at the time, yet later it will produce a transformation of character, bringing a harvest of righteousness and peace to those who yield to it. So be made strong even in your weakness by lifting up your tired hands in prayer and worship. And strengthen your weak knees, for as you keep walking forward on God’s paths all your stumbling ways will be divinely healed!
In Leadership:
The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.
In Friendship and Community:
For this is why the gospel was preached even to those who are dead, that though judged in the flesh the way people are, they might live in the spirit the way God does. The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.
There was a time when I was waking up at 4:00 AM to work out and going to bed by 8:00 PM to make it happen.
That schedule just isn’t feasible right now in this season of life. And honestly, I’m scared to work out knowing how much damage exercise has done to my joints.
BUT, I know I can’t do nothing.
I’d love your ideas, encouragement, and advice. But mostly, I’d love an accountability partner. Someone who is on a similar journey and could walk through this with me. Someone who could text me to ask how many days (or minutes) it’s been since my last Oreo(s.)
I’ve gained 42 pounds since I got married. I have a new “before” picture and I don’t like it.
I gained weight and lost my waistline.
But, there are some other things I’ve gained along the way that the pounds layered on my body will never be able to steal from me.
The number on the scale does not define my worth or my value.
I’m gained more than just weight over those 13 years.
I’ve gained wisdom in my career.
I’ve gained a Godly marriage that looks more like Jesus everyday.
I’ve gained a handful of close friends who push me to dig deeper into God’s Word and the Father’s heart with my every waking moment and with every fiber of my being.
And I’ve gained a friendship with Holy Spirit who is even closer than the pounds piled under my skin.
I’m so glad you’re here, friend. I’m not sure how you found this post, but I continue to be amazed by the internets. It brings us together in such beautiful ways and reminds us that we’re more alike than different. More united than divided. Whether you spend a minute or an hour on this page, know that Jesus loves you like crazy. Like CRAZY. I’d love to hear how I can pray for you. Would you let me know here?
