Seeking Jesus
Have you ever asked the Lord for something and He just didn’t respond? After struggling with something for years, I begged the Lord to speak to answer me, but He stayed silent.
For two years.
I hadn’t been feeling super close to Him and I felt like maybe He was ignoring me or had forgotten me.
And then one morning last May, I met the Holy Spirit. And he finally answered me.
If you don’t know what I mean, that probably sounds weird. But it’s not weird because the Holy Spirit isn’t weird. He’s a friend - the best kind of friend.
Even though I was the one who had pulled away and was ignoring Him…even though I was the one who had forgotten Him and hadn’t met Him daily in the Word, He was so forgiving and gracious and He answered the cry of my heart.
He spoke to me. He did not keep quiet or conceal Himself, just as I had prayed.
That morning He revealed so clearly two areas in my life where I had stopped praying. One of them I had stopped praying for almost 10 years ago, the other about two years ago (ironically around the same time I began to feel like I was in a spiritual drought. Hmmmm….)
In His loving, patient voice, there was no condemnation. There was only love. The Spirit does this beautiful thing that only He can do - He corrects us with love and points us back to Jesus.
I fully realized in that moment that the Father had never left me - I just hadn’t been in the Word, which meant His truths had not been able to take root in my life for a while.
Since that sweet day in May, the Spirit has renewed this fiery passion in me for the Word and for Jesus himself. I literally can’t get enough of Him.
Last summer I read for about 4-5 hours each day. I will never forget how special that time was. And even though it’s a challenge some days, I’m still reading 1-3 hours a day now that we’re back in the swing of things this fall. I wake up early and stay up late just tearing through His word, journaling, praying, and having my own worship dance parties in the little corner of my bedroom.
The enemy is a LIAR and he will do anything he can to keep you from reading the Word, God’s love letter to you. He wants to keep you in a place of loneliness and isolation so you don’t grow in truth and contribute to building the Kingdom!
When I felt like the Father was ignoring me, the truth was that He is always there, just waiting for me to crawl into His lap and fall deeper in love with Him!
When I felt like He wasn’t speaking to me, the truth was that I needed to crack open the Word and hear what He wanted to say to me, straight from His heart.
I don’t know if I’ll have hours to read everyday forever, but I am soaking up this time I have at this point in life.
If you’re feeling lonely, wondering if He’s even there, if He even still speaks today, just open your Bible and discover the truth, grace, and love He has hidden between the pages for you…even today!
If you don’t know where to start, start with John, Matthew, Luke, or Ephesians and go from there.
I promise you won’t be able to get enough of it either!
