Our Love Story

Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday.

My FAVORITE.

And it’s probably not for the reasons you think.

It’s not for the cards, that’s for sure. I’m not a card person, y’all. Bry is the card guy in our house and he’s super good at it. He takes care of birthday cards, thank you cards, get well cards. Seriously, he’s on top of it.

It’s not for the flowers. Bry learned early on that he shouldn’t come home with a dozen roses unless those roses were on the clearance rack for 75% off, you know what I’m sayin’??

It’s not for the fancy dinner out, either. We’ve spent 17 Valentine’s together and I can only think of a few that we spent outside of the house. We like to make a fun, fancy meal at home and beat the crowds.

My love for Valentine’s goes much deeper than cards and flowers and fancy restaurants.

I love Valentine’s Day because of the C A N D Y.

Yes, I’m serious.

Red, gummy, chewy, sour, and sweet candy is my favorite and this is the best time of the year to find all of my faves.

Now that you know that, let’s move on, mmmkay?

I thought it’d be fun to share our love story on this Valentine’s Eve, so Brian and I each answered a few questions to do just that.

Note: We did NOT read each other’s responses before writing our own. I’ll be reading his when you are, too! I’m so curious to hear our different perspectives and answers to the same questions.

Here we go!

question 01

how did you meet?

January 2004 (peep his cute early 00’s man necklace!)

HIM

I didn’t reallllly meet Julie until it was our third time to see each other. The first time, she left an impression on me. In the shape of her right hand. There was this one friend that I had gotten pretty close to since we were both adult college-aged sponsors on a two-week high school music camp that toured in Chicago. (Again, I have my mad bass-slapping skills to thank for that…I was only invited because a student bassist didn’t audition and they needed another male sponsor.) Long story short, I snuck up behind her, who at that time happened to have had long, brown hair. She was on the phone, so I naturally tried to interrupt her. Then my not-friend turned around, told me she was on the phone and then slapped me before gesturing as if to ask why I was still standing there. I quickly obliged by vacating immediately.

The second time, I was playing bass with a punk rock cover band at a battle of the bands for a huge high school lock-in. It was a huge event with hundreds of kids from churches across the Dallas-Fort Worth area as a way for them to have fun, hang out, and let loose before going back to school. I was moving into Dallas Christian College the next morning (hours after the all-nighter ended) as a sophomore transfer, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Apparently Julie was there since the college was one of the event sponsors and she saw all the bands perform, and I saw the audience, but we didn’t know we had seen each other at that event for the first time until years later.

The third time I saw her, it was a couple days later. I had made some quick friends that also just moved into the dorm, and we made a Walmart run. While there, my group of friends bumped into her and one of her friends. I said, “Hey, aren’t you that girl that slapped me earlier in the summer?” Of course she screamed #FAKENEWS and denied everything.

But then it turned out we were in a class together that next week (choir). And as fate would have it, my assigned spot as a tenor II was right behind her...

HER

In the summer of 2002, I was at an event where a lot of my friends were having dinner and hanging out together. I was on a super important phone call in the courtyard outside when all of a sudden, I felt someone playing with my hair and making noises behind me. You have to understand that I was not a nice person at this point in my life. Holy Spirit had a loooooong way to go with me, to say the least.

Long story short, I turned around and just slapped this guy. Yes, across the face. I went back to my phone call and assumed I’d never see the only man I’d ever slapped again. A few months later, he started attending the college I’d already spent a semester at. One night a group of girls and I were at Walmart (the ultimate college hangout spot) and I heard someone say, “Ummm I think you’re that girl that slapped me.” Yup, that’d be me. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and die! haha I seriously never thought I’d see this guy ever again.

question 02

When did you know you were in love?

HIM

This one time when I was a kid, I went to the pier and put a coin in the Zoltar machine, which automatically made me 20 years old and told me I was would fall in love with her. (Oh wait, that’s the Tom Hanks movie called Big.) I actually don’t remember. I remember knowing really early on that we were really good together. I remember her being a little wild and kinda like a hot mess, but she kept up with my insane, yet-to-be-diagnosed ADHD. We bonded over our affinity for Joe Dirt, mix tapes, and QuickTrip taquitos. But I honestly don’t remember when I knew that we were the one. Knowing myself, I probably made a 2-page pro/con list, and the pros must have won out. (I mean… uh, a pro list since she didn’t have any cons…uh….)

HER

In the Fall of 2002, we started going on these nightly walks. We’d walk for three or four hours almost every night, just talking about anything and everything. This went on from late September to Christmas break. We weren’t even officially dating at the time, but I remember he made me a CD playlist of our favorite songs and he wrote me this really cute, funny book. I knew I loved hanging out with him, but I didn’t realize how much I really cared about him and how serious my feelings were until we were separated for a few weeks over break.

It didn’t take long to make things “official” after I came back to Dallas. On January 4, 2003, he asked me to officially be his girlfriend in the Fort Worth Zoo parking lot. He literally quoted Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber when he asked what the chances were of a guy like me and a girl like him getting together. I responded, “One in one.” It took him a few minutes to figure out that I meant 100%.

I’d also like to note that my parents, his parents, AND our pastor at the time all saw that we’d be a good fit and that we should date each other before we ever started dating (and while I was dating someone else! haha)

question 03

what was your favorite thing about him or her then? and now?

HIM

Back then, it was that she was always willing to go new places, try new things, and experiences something new. I loved that she wanted to spend hours at a time with me on a long walk and talking about things. I liked that she was spicy and funny and sometimes said things she realized she shouldn’t have said.

Now, I love how much she respects me in public and always tries to honor me in front of others. I love that she reminds me to love myself, that I don’t have to prove anything to her, and that the only person allowing me to think I’m not an amazing human is myself. She gets me out of my head, supports me in doing hard things, and doesn’t veto my life dreams (but instead pushes me to do them). But also, she trusts me. It takes trust for her to be like, “You want to bike 240 miles across two states in the middle of nowhere and a 2-hour helicopter ride from a hospital assuming you can even call for help? Okay, I guess."

HER

My favorite thing about Bry “back then” was 100% his fun, hilarious, full-of-life personality. It’s hard to remember a time I went more than five minutes without laughing hysterically around this guy. He even made boring ol’ Walmart runs a crazy, awesome adventure! He had a job for a few years that almost killed his happy, spontaneous, life-giving spirit, but he’s been coming back to himself over the last few years and it’s just the best. I love laughing with him!

My favorite thing “nowadays” is his love for the homeless community. He thinks about the things that most people sadly overlook. He makes it a point to keep snacks and donation items in his car so he can hand-deliver them to the homeless people he meets near his work. When we take leftovers home from a restaurant, he’ll always ask for plastic-ware and a napkin so someone else can enjoy the meal. When he has donuts left over from the dozen he bought for a meeting, he’ll go out of his way to deliver them to homeless men and women in the community. He knows where they live and where they congregate. He invites them to sit down on a park bench and eat lunch with him, which he provides, obviously. He makes it a point to look them in the eyes, smile, and he may be the only person who treats them with dignity that day. I know he’d never share any of this about himself and this is why I love him for it.

question 04

how did he propose?

HIM

Magically. With a unicorn. And a seven-year-old version of the Old Spice guy singing an Irish folksong in the background, delivering a bag of 20 puppy golden retrievers. (If she says it was any different, it’s all lies.)

HER

On the morning of April 25, 2004, I had no clue that I’d be engaged by that evening. Bry had told me that we’d be going to a fun dinner and I honestly had no suspicions that he’d be proposing. If you know me, you know I’m the least observant person on the planet and I fall for almost anything, so it’s pretty easy to fool me. Case in point: there was a miscommunication at the restaurant that evening and they brought out a dessert plate with, “Congratulations!” written on the edges in chocolate. Bry quickly made up a story about how he’d called them and told them we’d both become RA’s in our dorms that semester and I BELIEVED HIM.

After dinner, we went on a walk around the Las Colinas canals and Bry was going on and on about the Biblical symbols of engagement, blah blah blah, and I still had no clue. A few minutes later, I noticed one of our college friends playing guitar on the bottom step of the bridge. I was like, “Is that Will? That’s weird.” I still had no clue, you guys. Within a few seconds, Bry was handing me roses and a ring and a tiara. I said, “DUH” and we hugged and kissed then asked our friend to leave. Haha!

question 05

what is your prayer for the next 10 years?

HIM

I pray that we’ll continue to learn to trust ourselves more than what we see on social media, that we trust each other more than we trust ourselves, and that we learn to trust God more than each other. I pray that we trust with expectation and are willing to let God truly answer our prayers. Concretely, since we can’t have kids, I pray that we learn to become more disciplined so that there aren’t any health or financial reasons that keep us from being able to create amazing memories in the absence of what life would look like for someone in their 40s that isn’t sending kids off to college or expecting their first grandkid. So maybe that means travel, radical volunteerism and philanthropy, or a combination of the two. Low key, I hope it also means visiting every national park in the USA and Julie taking up mountain biking. But I know that whatever we do (or don’t do), we will find inferior meaning in it without continually finding true acceptance and alignment with the peace that only the Holy Spirit can provide.

HER

For Bry, I pray the next ten years includes a best friend. Preferably, a guy that’s super into mountain biking and loves Jesus. (Mostly so I don’t have to learn how to mountain bike.) I pray that he will continue to grow deep in love with the Father. I pray that he will continue to uncover the mysteries of God’s Word and the revelations of who he is in Him. That he is a child of God, chosen and set apart for holiness. That he was adopted into God’s family and he doesn’t have to strive or work to earn God’s affection. That he can just be a beloved son.

For us, I pray that Philippians 2:2 would manifest itself in our home. That we would abide so closely with Jesus that our marriage would be the outpouring and the overflow of the unity we experience in Jesus. I pray that Holy Spirit in me and Holy Spirit in Bry would empower us to live in such radical harmony, unity, and faith…even if the “culture” around us shouts for anything but Jesus.

“So I’m asking you, my friends, that you be joined together in perfect unity—with one heart, one passion, and united in one love. Walk together with one harmonious purpose and you will fill my heart with unbounded joy.”
Philippians 2:2